Jason Wanner: Blog

I survived!! And not a moment too soon! I was getting ready to collapse soon if I spent any more time in that practice room. There were a few times where I felt that if I had fallen asleep, I may not have awoke again.

For those of you wondering what the hell I'm talking about, I performed my senior recital one week ago tonight. And yes, it has taken me a week to realize where I am. Every day this last week has been a lot like waking up in some place where you have no memory of how you arrived. It is the strangest feeling in the world. The past few months so many people have been saying to me, "You need to get out more", and now I realize why. It will be nice to return to my old self again.

I have never been so excited about how much time there actually is in a day!! I may as well have been living on Mercury the past 3 years!! My days have revolved so much around the very intense task of practicing and making beautiful music, that I have spent little time doing much else. Not because there aren't enough hours in a day, but because I spent most of my free time trying to recover from the physical exhaustion. On Mercury, the days are only 10 earth hours so I would be forced to relax sooner. Don't want to wear a gas mask though. Needless to say, the recovery became less and less with each passing day, even with the full 24 hours.

Now, I have no idea what to do with all the time I have! It's amazing how much time there is when you're not spending half of it beating yourself up physically and mentally, and the other half trying to recover from it. The contrast in the past week has been a huge eye-opener for me, and I have realized truly how little worry and conflict I want in my life.

This is the perfect precursor to my trip to Tahiti, for which I leave in a week. This will be my first exercise in having little worry and conflict.

I also look forward to seeing all of YOU again in the coming months, and actually be able to be myself and coherent at the same time. I apologize profusely for the past few years. In the words of the "not dead" guy from that Monty Python movie..... "I'm getting better!!"

It's great to be back again!

I can't believe it!! Somehow, all this hard work has paid off. I passed my recital permission jury today. So that means I don't have to postpone my recital. MORE importantly.... it means that I will truly and finally be done in a month.

For those of you who don't know, my recital is on April 27th at 7pm. It will be held at the Sacramento State University Music Recital Hall. You can all visit the calendar area for details. By the way, it's all classical music. This has been a long, hard road.

For the first time in a long time, I finally feel relaxed. But it's not over yet, so I can't get TOO comfortable. However, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel... and it is OH SO GOOD!!

How do these music majors do it? I feel like I'm on my last legs. Granted, most music majors are pretty much married to school, and do very little else. It NEEDS to be that way in order to survive. I, on the other hand, am always getting my hands into so many places they don't belong. Like I've said before, I've got this recital coming up, and I'm a lot less freaked about it. I think I'm actually on track for a decent performance.
However, I just spent this last weekend in Eureka, CA playing in not one, but TWO bands. Yes I played basically 20 hours of piano over the weekend. And on top of that, my recital permission hearing was supposed to be yesterday. Here's a sweet bit of serendipity for you: Jason goes to airport to come home on sunday. Jason's flight is delayed. Soon Jason's flight is CANCELLED... Jason can't get home until the next day. Jason has to cancel his permission hearing, and schedule it for a later date. Jason is thanking God because he wasn't quite ready for it, and the extra week will do him good.
Fun, huh? Anyway, I feel exhausted lately. I'm 29 years old, not 21 like most college seniors... and I am really burning the candle at both ends. My teacher is surprised at me for playing so much this last weekend. This is really quite a ride, but I'm going to need to get off very soon. Almost there... almost there... No amount of sleep or rest is going to deliver me the energy I need to stay awake for the next few weeks... so for those of you who see me between now and may, I apologize for my zombie-like demeanor. My REAL self will be with you all again shortly. Almost there.........almost there....

I don't normally spazz, people... but I'm coming around the horn here again with another recital. And this year, it's even tighter than last year. It's coming down to the wire, folks. I have less than a month to have all my stuff memorized, and some of it I don't even have LEARNED yet. I really don't want to postpone the recital. If i had one extra week, I suppose I would be a little more confident.

I suppose part of the problem, is that I'm just not a normal student, and that makes it a lot tougher for me. Most (serious) music students spend their weekends practicing and refining their craft. What do I do? I go out and gig and play for y'all. Trust me, I love it and wouldn't trade it for anything, but it sure takes a lot of time management to stay ahead in my practicing.

I'll be working my ass off for the next few weeks, so I'm sorry if I don't return calls or accept gigs. Oh, that reminds me... I'm not accepting any new gigs between now and the end of April. I need to get this DONE!!

Thank you all who have been so supportive of me in my endeavors. A lot of you have been asking about when I will release a new album. At this point, it's pretty unknown. I make my albums with lots of love and care, so they take a little longer to make than most people. I'm not in it for the money, although it costs quite a bit sometimes. I will say, though, that I will begin work on it (either in my head or physically) AFTER I graduate.

Hey, BTW, thank you to all of those who were at my pianorama in Monterey last weekend!! I'm sorry about the Beethoven, I just get nervous, and I needed to play it for y'all to try and combat my nerves. Thank you for indulging me!!

Best to all of you!

-Jason

PS... I promise I will blog more. It's been almost a year since my last one. And that is NOT acceptable. So please check back here often for my random thoughts. I hope to do at least one per week!

Well, my big junior recital is finally done! And not a moment too soon. I feel like I've been walking around with a huge African bull elephant on my shoulders for the past 8 months! And finally, someone has said to me, "Hey! Why are you carrying that African bull elephant around on your shoulders? Don't you know that African bull elephants can walk on their own? Put him down!!" Jeez why didn't anyone tell me?!?
Seriously though, I've been spending the last 8 months of my life locked in a practice room and working on classical music. It has been a huge challenge for me, especially after failing my performance final in the fall semester, and having to make it up in the spring. How one manages to memorize and perform 45 minutes of music, I will never know. All I can say is it just happened somehow.
The recital itself was quite a success! Although it was not without the nervous-tension-induced bobbles that have always plagued me over the years. Gee I hope no one noticed! The program was as follows:

Suite II in F major by Händel
I. Adagio
II. Allegro
III. Adagio
IV. Allegro

Suite Op 14 by Bártók
I. Allegretto
II. Scherzo
III. Allegro molto
IV. Sostenuto

---INTERMISSION---

Preludes, Book I by Debussy
VIII. The Girl with the Flaxen Hair
X. The Sunken Cathedral

32 Variations in C minor, WoO 80 by Beethoven

That pretty much sums it up. I can honestly say that I have never done anything like this before, and I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful and ongoing support. Thank you to all who showed up and all who were there in spirit!

I sure can't wait to do it again next year......another 8 months in a stuffy practice room under flourescent lights just sounds SOOOOOO appealing!!

Take Care all for now!

-Jason